Survival tips: what to wear

Getting dressed with one arm has been a real struggle. I can somewhat use my forearm now, but I have severe pain if I don’t keep my bicep basically glued to my ribcage. So, no sleeves, pretty much. Definitely no pullovers of any kind. Bottoms are difficult too—I struggle with fasteners one-handed, as well as just getting things on.

I have really been struggling with this! In part just, literally, struggling, because it’s colder now, so can’t just bum around in tank tops or whatever (although spaghetti-strap tank tops have been a lifesaver, because you can just step in an pull them up). But also, it is just really demoralising. I normally enjoy dressing—used to work in vintage clothing, have all sorts of fun pieces, but they’re mostly not injury friendly. I prefer tailored and fitted to baggy and loose, so I can’t button my shirts over my sling easily (I had my arm buttoned into a shirt all day once, and by the end my hand was numb). I can’t wear the tank top with nothing over, because it’s too cold. Pencil skirts that zip up on the left are difficult to put on. It’s too cold for bare legs and tights are impossible. I owned precisely one pair of jogging pants before this, because they’re just not my style. Now I own about six, and I look into the mirror and it’s not my own self looking back. Whiny, but it bugs me.

But I figured out a solution. I ordered a bunch of snap tape. I took a few expendable tops—a couple of hand-me-downs that my kid outgrew, and a black mock-neck pullover I made years ago—ripped out the left side seams (if I really want, I can always re-sew them later, I guess?) and sewed in the snap tape. Voilà! Shirts I can put on. Doing up the snaps is not easy, and on cold days the feel is breezy. But it’s so much better than nothing.

Looks like a normal polo shirt!

Awkward pose, but you can see the snaps!

Then an email popped up, saying, “a seller has offered you a discount on a vintage red cape.” After sighing and wishing I could splurge on such a thing, it occurred to me—capes are perfect when you can’t wear sleeves! It should be here any minute; I keep anxiously running to the porch every time I hear a sound. (My new glasses came today too—almost as good as my old glasses!)

Glasses, new and old

I am sick of the constant jogging pants though (even if I did manage to find one cool pair). And finally, it hit me this morning—suspender tights (warning: NSFW)! Regular tights would be a nightmare to get on one-handed, not to mention having to deal with them again every time you go to the loo. With suspender tights, they’re easier to get into since the hip-to-waist area is basically missing, and once they’re on, underpants go on top, and can go up and down as needed without involving the tights. I think (hope) I have another pair somewhere!