i do this every year, don't we all?
reaffirm all the goals we didn't meet last year, and try again.
"but this year is going to be different."
as usual, i fell off the good health wagon in december - a combination of the usual holiday indulgences, and being sick with a chest infection (and yes, back on inhalers! i never want to take - or need - an inhaler again!) so i couldn't ride my bicycle to work in the weather we've been having. and, i have a bad - and completely illogical - habit of not taking my vitamins when i'm sick. generally i don't want to eat much beyond toast when i'm ill, so i really need vitamins, but the idea of a whole pile of pills rattling around in an empty belly turns my stomach, so i get out of the habit. not good.
my real resolution for this year is to let go of the past, to put all of the things holding me back behind me, so that i can move forward. i still hold on to so much anger and sadness from losing my mother. i want to let go of the anger and instead focus on the good memories, let the unhappy ones fade into oblivion. and taking better care of my health is part of that, because i certainly notice that i am in a better mood generally when i'm taking my vitamins regularly (especially vitamin d, with these short days of winter). i feel better when i get exercise, when i take the time to meditate or do tai chi. i feel better when i eat right.
so last night i made a massive truckload of whole-wheat macaroni & cheese with broccoli, enough for 5 dinners. tomorrow i will do more cooking for the freezer, to ensure we are always well fed and getting our proper shares of protein, fibre, etc.
and this morning i took my vitamins!