Tried a thing. It was hard.

So today I (sort of) rode a bike for the first time since last October.

My first ride

For comparison, here’s a ride from last summer:

Training ride last summer

Can you spot the difference?

So today’s ride was on a tandem. I had this idea, that starting on a tandem would be the thing. I remember when my kid was little, I had a trail-a-bike I attached to the back of my bicycle, and I would ride him between morning kindy and afternoon pre-school three days a week. It was a workout for me, because kiddo put in zero effort. They could have pedalled along on their wheel, but fat chance of that happening! I kept us upright and moving, and figured kiddo could do the same for me now that they’re all grown.

Tandems are different, though.

Our pedals turned in synch, so there was no chance for me to just coast along. We had to pedal together. The back seat is close enough that I couldn’t see much beyond kiddo’s back, which was somewhat panic-inducing. Our starts were incredibly wobbly, which made me tense up and grip my handlebars for dear life, which made the wobbling worse. 

Very near the start of our very short ride, we took a break so I could do a 5-minute breathing exercise (part of heartrate variability training, to help with controlling migraine and other symptoms). Then tried again. I quietly counted, “one, two, one, two,” under my breath, as a reminder to pedal. I focused on breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth. I focused on the fuzziness of kiddo’s sweater, and trying to relax my hands instead of strangling the handlbars like a maniac. There’s a chunk of the loop that I walked, looking for a washroom, and taking a little break. And then we rode all the way back. 

I was starting to feel almost normal towards the end. But I was also asking, “Are we there yet?” well before we were back at the bike rental place.

So—a success? Maybe, in that we didn’t crash (although we did come close) and I didn’t cry (although I did come close) but it’s a long way from being able to feel normal.

A bit headachey this evening, and super tired. Hope I don’t get a migraine from it tomorrow. I am taking a new migraine med, which has been helping so far for the first week I’ve been on it, but I don’t want to count too many chickens.

Protein “bread”

So part of this anti-inflammatory diet is avoiding wheat/gluten (although rye is allowed) and increasing protein. My cousin passed along a recipe for “protein bread” for me to try. No wheat, just cottage cheese, oats, eggs, baking powder, salt, and pepitas or sunflower seeds. 

“Protein bread”

This is not bread.

It is heavy and dense in the worst way. Even toasted, it is still depressing. You have to put a lot of peanut butter on it to make it edible.

I put it into Cronometer, as I do with everything, and It doesn’t even seem remotely worth the effort in making it and disappointment in eating it?

Nutritional content of protein “bread” 

I have also gone back to sourdough, since fermented foods are a thing, and long-fermented gluten is supposed to not cause the issues that regular gluten does. So I also put a recipe for real bread with sprouted rye into Cronometer.

Nutritional content of homemade sourdough with sprouted rye

Bear in mind, that’s for two lovely, normal-sized slices, vs two sad wee slices of the protein “bread.” A lot less fat, and 3g difference in protein is not worth crying over—for the difference in fat, just have three slices of real bread instead of two. I will take the real bread any day! 

Massed Practice vs Planned Rest Days

So a while ago I was falling asleep, when the phrase, “massed practice,” popped into my head.

It’s from the Norman Doidge book, The Brain that Changes Itself, which I was somewhat obsessed with when I read it years ago. One of the case studies was an older man who had a stroke. Conventional therapy—one hour a week—was doing nothing for him. But working at it like a job, 8 hours a day, he got all his abilities back. The concept is  “massed practice”—continually working those neurons is what builds them up. Like any kind of exercise, I guess.

And when I go full-on with my various therapies, it is a full-time job, or more. The problem is, after a day or two, I crash, hard. I get nauseated. I lurch around with that on-a-boat feeling. I get brutal headaches. I just can’t keep going.

Part of it, I think, is that I’m a bit underfed—I’m trying this anti-inflammatory diet and between being restricted from things that I love and being bored with things that are allowed, I end up in a calorie deficit a lot of the time.

But maybe I just need to be more deliberate about planning rest days?

Weekend was busy; moved kid home from uni. Monday I did a lot, in terms of all my rehab stuff. Crashed late afternoon. Tuesday (yesterday) I did not do much (mainly walking and tai chi, and my vestibular stretching). Today I feel better, back to my full regime, and went just a lil bit farther and faster on the treadmill for my sub-symptom threshold cardio. Maybe yesterday’s rest is the key to today’s success?

My current daily checklist 

Weight thoughts

Okay it’s been a long while since I posted. I had a little break from routine due to minor surgery (again); maybe I’ll go back and fill in the blanks, but here’s a little update.

My DNS chiro has me doing some (very light) weights for strength and stability. Still working on my core moves (3-month supine with heel touches, 7-month quadruped planks), but adding in a minute of stationary marching while holding a 6kg weight to my chest, followed by walks alternating between a farmer carry (equally balanced, one 8kg weight in each hand) and suitcase carry (weight in one hand only, alternating between right and left). The idea is, you get your body accustomed to being balanced (marches, farmer), and then try to maintain form while being unbalanced (suitcase). I am not terrible at this, and have gotten a lil better with fewer crossovers (imagine walking a straight line; if you’re doing it correctly your feet each stay in their own track, but if you're me, they sometimes cross the line into each other’s tracks when I’m off balance).

Meanwhile, I recently came across this article on how strength training correlates with cognitive health:

After six months, some in the weight training group actually performed slightly better on memory testing compared to initial evaluation. Using MRI, the researchers also observed that compared with the people who didn’t do weight training, the exercisers showed changes suggestive of healthier brain neurons and less brain shrinkage in regions typically affected by Alzheimer’s disease. This implies that weight training may help delay the progression of dementia, according to the researchers.

Um, wow!

Of course, they don’t know yet why it’s happening, but it seems like worst case scenario, you end up physically stronger even if there aren’t cognitive gains. Sounds okay to me!

Maybe it’s just…

… a cold?

With all my looking up medication side-effects and assuming my headaches are due to switching migraine medications, this morning I just sneezed and I’m wondering if maybe these hoofbeats aren’t zebras after all. 

Hmm

So, last night I went to an Oscar night screening, and bumped into a woman I know on the way home so we rode the subway together. And I realised I was losing my voice! No other symptoms of illness or a cold or something, just losing my voice. I was coughing more than usual when I went to bed as well, and wrote it off to March thaw allergies (when the snow goes, the mouldy old leaves are revealed). 

This morning it’s really bothering me, so I thought I’d look up the side-effects of my new medication. It lists “speech or language problems” under more common, “sore throat” under less common. Hmm. Also have some nausea, which is another possible side effect, but also a thing I’ve been dealing with along with my headaches and balance issues, so maybe that’s just me.

I only have a week’s worth of these, and a follow-up appointment on Friday, so I guess will see how things go until then.

Starting over, starting now

I feel sometimes like I have started from scratch a dozen times since last fall.

Today’s new start is new meds, cholesterol diet, and trying some faux-work experiments (aka work conditioning lite). I am nearly done my Insomnia CBT course and sleeping a lot better, so maybe if the new meds work I’m ready for it? Having my blood pressure back and bloating (from previous meds) gone makes me feel so much better.

Started the morning by going to the gym (determined to make 30 days this month, not giving myself an excuse miss it), then a breakfast of all the omega-3s, and CBT-i. Next is a volunteer usher shift (my second!) which is my faux-work for the day. Early dinner (lentils, kale, butternut squash), then going downtown to watch the Oscars at the Lightbox (I will not be staying till the end—and as I type this, I’m remembering that I meant to change my ticket to be on the aisle, oops). This will be a chance to both practise subway riding and extended focus. Exposure and endurance.

This week I am planning various tests and work-adjacent things—volunteer envelope stuffing, practice driving, doing my taxes, finishing some stuff that I’ve put off for months (medical complaint against Dr Firdouse, divorce paperwork, various stuff for my kiddo), sewing a garment (I figure that’s a good exercise in project management as well as focus and follow through). Basically, I want to live like I’m working (at a made-up job) on a reduced schedule, and see if I can at least do that, and then grow from there.

I feel like it’s time for me to enter the home stretch, or at least see if I can survive it.

Breakfast of champions