Rough couple of weeks

What else to say. Memorial was Sunday, so many emotions, so many people I hadn’t seen in ten years. I felt quite literally drained of energy by the end, incapable of forming the most basic thought. Monday was terrible, I was back in “am I having a heart attack” mode (even though my blood pressure is pretty consistently 100/60). But the evening was good; I was out at a board meeting that left me feeling energized, and then to a tap event which was fantastic.

The week has basically been up and down like that.

But I keep on keeping on. Did some stretches last night for the first time in forever. Need to get back in the habit! My shoulder is a mess and the rest is not much better. Just lying down gave me a bit of vertigo. Glad I went ahead and booked a second appointment with Angus last time I saw him. I definitely need it!  

Oof

What a stressful week. My sister-in-law—almost exactly my age, her birthday just two weeks after mine—died last Saturday. She had diabetes, and other disabilities, but still it comes as a shock. Her kid is a year younger than my kid. It’s overwhelming to think about.

I’ve been super stressed all week. She died Saturday night at 7, I found out at 8, and the next day I had to officiate a wedding. Monday I had an emotionally fraught fundraiser to attend (some of that emotion due to the cause—Palestine—some due to my feelings—unrequited?—for the performer, who has since left the country). Tomorrow I am taking my cousin to/from the hospital for a GI scope. Day after tomorrow is my annual eggnog party. I have so much prep to do and so little motivation. I just want a nap.

I had a bad pelvic floor moment today (don’t ask). My shoulder has been acting up, too—it’s still on the level, but feels wrong, and my neck and arm are kind of messed up, going right down into my hand, and I’ve had a couple of vertigo moments as well (including one where I almost fell on the stairs). I am tried an anxious and if I didn’t know better I would think I was having a heart attack (part of my reason for posting today is so that if it is a heart attack, I can legit say “I told you so!”)

Ch-ch-changes

It’s been almost a year since the death of Fitday, which means almost a year of Cronometer. Not that I’m terribly consistent with tracking (especially when I don’t like the numbers) but it’s a fair idea:

My weight over 2023 

Steady, then a jump up, then steady, then a jump down, then steady, then a jump up... then I stopped tracking for a bit and now we’re back to the jump down. 

Time for some reflection. 

The spring jump up: usual seasonal anxiety due to various anniversaries etc.

The June jump down: gastritis. 

The July jump up: stopping HRT.

The current jump down: not sure? I had a sort of non-period late September, then nothing till a couple of weeks ago (the ramp up to which was all pimples and binge eating), then a normal-person period, then my appetite disappeared and weight dropped off effortlessly. So I am assuming hormones. 

Question is, now that I’m here, now that I have some awareness of how I got here, can I stay here? Can I be mindful of hormonal swings and find other ways to manage them? Because really a 10% up/down swing in weight has to be a pretty significant strain on the system. 

Trying again

Well I haven’t been tracking or doing any (intentional) exercise lately. But I have been keeping busy. 

Now that I’m all-natural with the hormones and just experiencing perimenopause as it happens, I find my appetite and metabolism fluctuate like crazy. Just uncontrollable hunger at times, and my weight climbed to a number where I didn't want to weigh myself (hence the no tracking). Then I had a very light period and my appetite vanished and I could honestly feel my body burning through reserves. Just snapped back to the goal weight I achieved in the spring. Hormones, man. It’s wild. 

Anyway, I need to start tracking again, and find better ways to manage the swings than eating a ton of raw cookie dough. 

And I haven’t done “progress pics” in a year and a half! Here’s the last one for comparison. I don’t see a difference? No idea what I weighed then either, since the demise of Fitday…

(Tried to recreate the pose as exactly as possible)

Greetings from Buenos Aires!

The kid is away, so figured it was my chance to get away too.

Just a whirlwind week with a couple of days eaten up with flights, but other than that, lots of walking. Lots of walking. Nice thing about solo travel is I can wake up when I like, just have coffee and a pastry on the go or skip breakfast if I'm not hungry (and I've been weirdly not hungry), spend six or seven hours walking around (museums, gardens, just around town) and then grab a bite to eat whenever if I feel like it (again, weirdly not hungry). 

There are cake and pastry shops on every corner so you think I'd be eating like crazy, but somehow nope. I haven't been drinking enough water either (whoops). 

Tonight I am going to finally have my steak dinner though!

Whoof.

I have been so insanely hungry lately. We’re talking three times as many calories in as out yesterday. Whoops. Weight is the same though.

I blame hormones, although my last period—if I can even call it that—was just three days of light spotting. Gynecologist tomorrow morning to see about my “friable” cervix.

Meanwhile, I swear the hormones have messed up my muscles. They’re too tense, or they’re not tense enough. After my last run, my calves were absolute murder for about four days! Unheard of, and it was a very average run for me. 

Speaking of, tonight I’m doing another bootcamp run with Midnight Runners. Looking forward to it although a bit nervous since I have been so lazy lately! I’m sure it will be fine, although I might do more stretching than workouts during the pit stops. 

It’s me again, posting after a month of inactivity because I actually went for a run.

Let’s see, it’s been a month of travel, illness, dentistry, and side gigs… Finally getting back to normal, briefly, before things get upended again next month.

Happily, despite a lot of eating of treats and sitting in cars, my weight is where it should be. Went for a run this morning now that the weather is cooler, and it felt good.

Goal is to keep on the straight and narrow for the next two weeks, before everything goes sideways again.