01 December 2023

Oof

What a stressful week. My sister-in-law—almost exactly my age, her birthday just two weeks after mine—died last Saturday. She had diabetes, and other disabilities, but still it comes as a shock. Her kid is a year younger than my kid. It’s overwhelming to think about.

I’ve been super stressed all week. She died Saturday night at 7, I found out at 8, and the next day I had to officiate a wedding. Monday I had an emotionally fraught fundraiser to attend (some of that emotion due to the cause—Palestine—some due to my feelings—unrequited?—for the performer, who has since left the country). Tomorrow I am taking my cousin to/from the hospital for a GI scope. Day after tomorrow is my annual eggnog party. I have so much prep to do and so little motivation. I just want a nap.

I had a bad pelvic floor moment today (don’t ask). My shoulder has been acting up, too—it’s still on the level, but feels wrong, and my neck and arm are kind of messed up, going right down into my hand, and I’ve had a couple of vertigo moments as well (including one where I almost fell on the stairs). I am tried an anxious and if I didn’t know better I would think I was having a heart attack (part of my reason for posting today is so that if it is a heart attack, I can legit say “I told you so!”)

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