The incredible shrinking woman

Hmm. I am wearing a pair of trousers today that I’ve had for years and years, and they started me thinking about how my body has changed in that time.

When I was in my twenties, I typically weighed about 15-20 pounds more than I do now, but I was about the same size (based on the fit of these trousers). The difference was, I was a lot more muscular. I rode my bike a lot more, and when I did, I pumped as hard as I could, went as fast as I could, and looked for the steepest hills I could find to climb.

Over the years, my weight stayed about the same, but my dimensions increased. Muscle turned to fat. The trousers were “a bit snug” and then unwearable, languishing at the back of the closet, but staying there throughout the occasional closet purge, as one of a number of “aspirational” pieces of clothing.

Then, I got pregnant. Obviously all bets were off size-wise for that! I gained a typical amount of weight for someone my size.

After the kid was born, it all went, and then some. Between the elimination diet I went through because of the baby’s colic, nursing, and spending hours walking him in a stroller instead of sitting at a desk, my “average” weight dropped to about 10 pounds less than it had been in years, 10 pounds less than  my average twenties weight.

But really, I was losing fat, not gaining muscle. My muscle changed to fat, and it hasn’t changed back.

Then I went through a bunch of circumstances—the fall, the shoulder/back thing that turned out to be thoracic outlet syndrome, my mother’s illness—and gained a bunch. About 25 pounds. Eek. That’s what happens when you spend months sitting in a hospital room, eating hospital cafeteria food. Pretty terrible, really. Then I got my braces, broke my foot, and lost the whole 25 pounds very quickly - too quickly. I felt lousy, my face looked skeletal.

Fast forward to today. I had been gradually getting some muscle tone back through daily brisk walks of about three miles, with one steep climb. starting to feel good. Then, appendicitis, and accompanying surgery. I gained about 10 pounds in two days through bloating etc., then lost that plus another 5 pounds during recovery. I suspect that I lost more muscle than fat, though.

Now, the trousers are looser than I ever remember them being! But I feel pretty feeble. It’s funny to think that for so many years, my weight stayed the same while my girth increased—it’s true what they say about muscle being denser than fat!

Right now, my goal is to get some of that muscle back—to keep the dimensions the same, but gain some weight. baby steps though. I still have three more weeks before I can really start exercising. And I still have days where the littlest bit of effort wears me out. For now, brisk walks will have to do.

The slow road

I felt so much better yesterday! On Thursday, I was even coughing without holding my belly!

Today, however, I think I overdid it.

Not that I did much. I walked to the bakery and back, changed the sheets on the bed (that was brutal), loaded the dishwasher, and cleaned the fridge. I’m at that point where I can feel the last drop of energy draining away.

So: tea, and toast. And a rest. We’ll try again tomorrow.

Sweet relief

I saw Angus this morning! Thank goodness. He knew exactly what to do and I can turn my head again. My shoulder is a bit sore, but that's to be expected. And, I have been remembering my fish oil and vitamins. and nerve flossing.

Still dead tired though. Yesterday was the worst; my back was giving me so much pain on Wednesday that I thought I’d take a leftover Dilaudid from my hospital stay. Big mistake! My back still hurt, but I was so dopey! Even when I got up Thursday, I was still dopey and sleepy all day long. I made a tactical error, thinking, “oh, I’ll have some coffee and be fine,” but all it did really was keep me from sleeping, when I think sleeping it off properly was the one thing that might have helped. I eventually fell asleep around 3:30 and when I woke up a couple of hours later, I felt a lot better.

But I am never taking those pain killers again!

Back to work...

First day was yesterday, and I was tired before I even got there! Ended up going home a bit early, just pooped.

Also, my back pain has started up again. Not surprising; when I’m sick I have trouble eating, and supplements go by the wayside. I did remember to take my fish oil yesterday, and I’m going to take today’s dose right now! Also did some “nerve flossing” this morning, which I think helped a bit.

my big adventure

Today I went to the grocery store! So exciting. We were out of juice boxes, and needed some Hallowe’en treats. It was a very quick trip, but wore me out nonetheless.

I really need to spend the next few days going for a little walk morning and afternoon, to get my energy back up for going back to work next week. And also to help (I hope) with digestion. I ate somewhat more normally today—almost like a real person!—but a small-to-normal sized meal still leads to a lot of disturbing tummy rumbles and requires a lie down.

Is this normal? Augh!

Okay, tomorrow I am going to make sure to get loads of fibre somehow. And take my vitamins. I find it difficult to take the iron supplement when my stomach is upset, but I think I’ve just got to do it.

One step forwards, two steps back

Well, yesterday I had a “turning point” (I won’t go into detail, TMI) and thought, “This is it, I’m going to be feeling better!”

And then today, I overdid it.

And by “overdid it,” I mean, I ate a bagel.

I walked all the way to the bakery by myself (there and back, maybe a quarter mile), bought a raisin bagel, toasted it, and ate it with peanut butter.

It tasted so good. but it was like being hit by a truck. I slept for a good four hours.

So, clearly I need to slow down, or something.

But, shades of three years ago when I started this blog, I am finding it really difficult to get anywhere near 1,000 calories a day. I top up with pear nectar and ginger ale just to get a few calories. Gah, I should probably start drinking those bodybuilder drinks again. Or “Boost.” Or at least eggnog.

But how will my belly take it?

Yikes!

Another thing to recover from, boo.

My upset tummy was actually appendicits; I had the surgery three nights ago.

Between Monday (when I went in to the hospital) and Wednesday (when I got home), my weight increased 12 pounds! And I haven’t even been eating much, it’s just that nothing is going through and I’ve been pumped full of gas and saline and whatnot. Ugh. My waistline increased 8 inches to 32! Yikes. My body didn’t change this quickly when I was pregnant. Blecch.

Also, my blood pressure got crazy low—80s over 50s. eek.

Right now, I am trying to walk a bit every day, to encourage the gas to work itself out. I can feel it up to my shoulders and neck! not fun at all.

On the plus side, the nurses thought I was an athlete because my pulse is so strong.