The charts

Looking at Cronometer this morning, it’s amazing how clear and obvious the stomach flu is:

Can you tell when I got sick?

That day where I had almost nothing to eat or drink—I think just ginger ale—that corresponds exactly with losing 5 lbs overnight. 

But amazingly it’s stayed that way, despite my intake being pretty much back to normal. Which is to say, there are days I consume twice as many calories as "they" say I should. 

Could it be I’ve reset my set point? I read something a while ago about resetting set points by spending a period of time maintaining a specific weight instead of trying to change it. When I looked for the post again I couldn’t find it, so I don’t remember the details. 

Years ago—around when I started this blog actually—I lost a bunch of weight all at once, and an endocrinologist told me that since my weight had gone to an amount less than but still easily within 10% of the weight I had maintained throughout my 20s, it was just my body “snapping back” to the weight it wanted to be. Weird to think I weigh even less now, about 20 lbs less than 25 years ago. 

Could this be my new normal?

Skin in the game

I guess  it’s inevitable with age but my skin is starting to creep me out. Or crepe me out, as the case may be. 

Specifically, it’s my belly that's bugging me. 

I look fine standing up, but if I bend over…

It’s not fat; I have a small waist and typically carry my extra weight on my thighs. Especially after my bout with gastritis, I’m as thin as I need to be and there’s no extra fat around the middle. Just extra skin. I didn’t lose a lot of weight either—nothing dramatic enough that I expected this.

It’s been looming for a while. I had thought “if I lose those last 5 lbs, it will go away.” Nope. I may not have a 6-pack but my abs are not bad. I started working on my core more at the behest of my physio, and if anything it’s made me more self-conscious—this morning, doing a plank, I got a glimpse of my droopy skin and it just looks ugly. 

On top of everything else, I am now so old that I can’t get my birth control renewed—a low-dose pill I was prescribed to manage perimenopause symptoms. Did I post about the horrors of the waterfall period last time I stopped taking the pill? Dreading that happening again. And having these other more visible reminders of the change pop up is making me anxious. 

Is this when I start taking collagen? Or some other supplement? Or do I try (and fail) at body positivity again?

Fibre!

So one  of the fun things about iron deficiency is that the supplements cause constipation. I used to get these biscuits with the evocative name of “bowel buddy.” But when I looked for them recently I couldn’t find. 

So I made my own recipe!

High-Fibre Cookies!

Two cookies contain a third of the RDA for fibre. And they don’t taste terrible, although next time I’ll add cinnamon.

Recipe: High-fibre Cookies 

Ingredients:

1 cup Bran Buds cereal 

½ cup oats

1 egg, beaten 

½ cup apple sauce 

1 tsp vanilla 

¾ cup brown sugar 

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 tsp baking powder 

¾ tsp salt 

⅜ cup psyllium husk powder 

 1 cup raisins, roughly chopped 

Directions:

Grind Bran Buds and oats together in a food processor. 

Combine egg and apple sauce. Add vanilla and brown sugar. 

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and psyllium. Stir into egg mixture. 

Stir in ground cereals and raisins. 

Place tablespoon-sized mounds on a baking sheet and bake at 350°F for 15 minutes. 

Honestly thrilled with how these turned out for a first attempt at a totally improvised recipe. I guess my years of cookie-baking are finally paying off!

A nice surprise

I have had this top and skirt for ages, long enough that I haven’t worn it in years. The neckline of the top never sat quite right, and the skirt had torn along the seam at the back where the kick pleat is. It was on my long-term list of things to fix before buying new fabric (cross off 3 to-dos before getting 1 treat).

Being so long since I’d worn it meant no fear of messing up—it might as well be rags anyway, the worst that could happen is I’d have more closet space! 

So with the help of “mending tape” I fixed the tears and resewed the seam, which meant taking it in by about an inch through the hips. Without trying it on first to see if it would even fit.

Guess what—fits fine, even a little roomy! So happy right now, it’s two wins in one! A “new” outfit and evidence that all this cycling and careful eating (if only due to gastritis) has made a difference!

Linen/cotton 2-piece dress

The core

I haven’t done any “dedicated” exercise in months.

By that, I mean exercise for the sake of exercise, as opposed to biking as a form of transportation, walking to get groceries, etc.

And I kind of prefer it that way.

I had a gym membership before the pandemic, which I used a few times when the weather was too hot or cold to do much outside, but I generally find working out to be incredibly dull and I’m not motivated to do it.

My physiotherapist has other ideas though.

Have I mentioned my pelvic floor yet? TMI? I started seeing a pelvic floor physio to deal with some of the usual symptoms of being a middle-aged woman who delivered an 8-pound baby vaginally. Or so I thought. Apparently people can suffer these issues at any age, whether they gave birth or not. And kegels don’t help. Kegels make things worse. For me, at any rate.

I like to think of a hand holding a raw egg. If you don’t hold it firmly enough, it’ll slip through your fingers and you’ll have a mess on the floor. Hold it too tightly, you’ll crush it. Result is the same.

The latter is my problem. So, I’ve been working on relaxation exercises and techniques for my pelvic floor muscles. That’s going well and helping a lot. More recently, we’ve added in core-strengthening exercises (“snugs,” she calls them). It is so difficult to clench one set of muscles while keeping others relaxed! I had no idea. We talked about diastasis recti, and the exercises recommended for that. She asked me to demonstrate, then: “Can you do that without clenching your glutes?” Um, no?

So that’s what I’m working on.

This morning, I decided to get back to my old 20-situps-a-day routine, which I 100% let slide when I was sick. Hard to do while trying to keep other parts relaxed at the same time! I also tried planking, which lasted all of 40 seconds. Ah well. Baby steps... 

Conflicting feelings

Got my first “lucky you” on the weekend. 

As in, lucky to get stomach flu so you lost some weight. 

The thing is, I wouldn’t mind a simple “you look great” or something. I know some people are bothered by any comment about weight loss, but I don’t mind a straight up compliment, especially if someone thought it was a result of hard work! 

I don’t feel lucky to have had days of diarrhoea and vomiting followed by weeks of upset stomach. 

I do fully intend to keep the weight off now that it’s gone though. 

It was really just “that last 5 lbs” that everyone struggles with, but losing them really does make a difference. I like how my clothing feels. I like how I look. I feel vaguely guilty for liking these things, because of the bombardment of messages from the media that basically say women should never feel good about themselves, including—especially?—if their feelings are connected to weight loss, because we’re supposed to prioritize other people’s feelings above our own. 

Hence conflicting. I have been feeling under the weather for over a month now, and I want to enjoy the one positive thing that came out of that. I hate how hard it is to just feel my feelings independently of the world’s expectations and impositions!

Still wobbly

After a completely insane week, I decided to cancel today’s planned ride with the cycling club (our air quality is terrible due to smoke from wildfires, and it was threatening rain) and sleep in a bit.

Then I thought I’d take advantage of a day without plans to try reintroducing coffee again.

Mixed results?

I was feeling fine—a little edgy, but with some of my get-stuff-done energy back. Did some productive puttering and was feeling good. 

Then I got carried away and decided to have bacon and eggs for lunch and I think it was too greasy for me to handle. Feeling quite wobbly. Decided to lie down with a movie instead of going to a friend’s pool party (also: rain). 

But I find that even though I feel kind of wrecked (see: insane week) it’s hard to just lie down, due to all that caffeine I’m no longer used to. Brain wants to sleep; body won’t.

But at least I managed all right until that heavy greasy meal! Gotta remember baby steps when healing.